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Category Archives: Depression

My history

     I’m not much different than most medical cannabis patients.  Just another criminal statistic in our government’s war on its own people.  You see, that’s what I am in the eyes of our justice system, a criminal.

 “My government considers me a criminal.”

    I used to be a hard working, respected member of society.  In most every way, I resembled the typical Republican opinion of what it meant to be middleclass.  I was married; I had three kids, a mortgage, and a car loan.  I worked with my hands, and I went to church on Sunday.  Then I got sick.

    I have worked with not-for-profits since the 80’s, having founded Victory Storehouse, Inc., a benevolence ministry that strived to meet the needs of our county’s poor.  During that time, I also founded a food pantry association that coordinated the efforts of pantries over a three county area.
    By the early 90’s, I was working for the local electric utility, Ameren, as a certified welder and pipefitter.  It was hard work – heavy work, but it paid very well.  I also worked on the side as a computer consultant. 
    All in all, I was accustomed to working eighty plus hours a week.  It was regular fair to find me stocking shelves at the pantry from two ’til five most mornings after I got off from my pm shift at the power plant.

    I currently live in St. Louis, though that’s not always been my home.  I was born and raised in Herculaneum, Missouri.  The Doe Run Lead Smelting plant, its smoke stack and constant noxious discharge were an ever-present reminder of the toxic chemicals that my friends, family, and of course, myself, were ingesting every hour of every day.  But just the sight of the enormous chimney reveals little of the more ominous impact this industry has had on this community.  The clandestine, twilight plumes from the stack, deliberately planned for moonless nights, or the heavy trucks with loose tarps and gaping cargo beds, scattering their loads to the wind as they rolled through the neighborhood streets – for those of us who grew up in Herculaneum, we were exposed to carcinogenics – basically our whole lives.

    Doe Run Company is the largest integrated lead producer in North America and the largest primary lead producer in the western world.  The company has been producing lead in Herculaneum since 1892. 
    Ira Rennert, its present owner, has the dubious title of being the single largest owner of polluting companies in the country.

    It was there in Herculaneum, while remodeling our home that I was exposed to very high levels of lead, cadmium, and arsenic, byproducts of lead smelting.  Soon after, I became very ill.
    The affects that Doe Run was having on our community attracted national attention in 2002 when local and national television news programs investigated the large number of varied illnesses due to the pollution that the local industry had and continued to create.  My ex-wife and I, along with other residents, were featured on local news programs and on the CBS News Program 20/20. 

    Lead can be ingested many ways; through food contamination or contaminated drinking water, and through inhaling Lead dust into the lungs.  It can also be absorbed through the skin.
    Lead poisoning can cause nervous system and kidney damage, learning disabilities, speech and language problems, behavioral problems, poor muscle coordination, decreased muscle and bone growth, hearing damage, high blood pressure, digestive problems, nerve disorders, cataracts, memory problems, concentration problems, muscle and joint pain, pregnancy complications, damaged sperm production, and cancer.

    Cadmium is extremely toxic even in low concentrations and will bioaccumulate in organisms and ecosystems. Cadmium can cause flu like symptoms, chills, fever, muscle ache, tracheo-bronchitis, pneumonitis, pulmonary edema, cough, dryness and irritation of the nose and throat, headache, dizziness, weakness, chest pain, kidney damage, liver damage, osteomalacia, osteoporosis, joint pain, increased risk of fractures, coma, gout, and cancer.

    Arsenic, a well known poison is known to cause violent stomach pains, tenderness and pressure, retching, vomiting, dryness and tightness in the throat, thirst, hoarseness, difficulty of speech, diarrhea, tenesmus, convulsions, cramps, clammy sweats,  lividity of the extremities, countenance collapsed, delirium, skin cancer, and death.

    Independent testing revealed high concentrations of these byproducts throughout our property and within our home:

    On our refrigerator,  lead, as high as 9,000/parts per million
        – Standard is 40/parts per million indoors

    In my office at same residence, lead, as high as 7,745/parts per million
        – Standard is 40/parts per million indoors

    On the awning over window on the front of the house, lead, as high as 10,500/parts per million
        – Standard is 400/parts per million outdoors

    In the front yard, cadmium, as high as 10-15/parts per million
        – Average is less than 1/parts per million

    We live in a polluted society.  To bring home that fact, all we have to do is look at other species that share our homes.  50% of all dogs and 30% of all cats die of cancer.  In Herculaneum, dogs rarely die of natural causes.

    After an exhaustive line of expensive medical tests at the hands of the best physicians and specialists St. Louis had to offer, my condition was labeled “Fibromyalgia with severe migraines”.  Hardly a suitable description for the agony I suffered daily. 

“Cannabis helped my memories return.”

My illness: The Fibromyalgia

    Fibromyalgia is the catch-all diagnose of the medical community.  It’s what physicians label your illness when they have exhausted all other possibilities. 
    The defining symptoms of Fibromyalgia are chronic, widespread pain and tenderness to light touch.  Other symptoms can include moderate to severe fatigue, needle-like tingling of the skin, muscle aches, prolonged muscle spasms, weakness in the limbs, nerve pain, irritable bowel syndrome, myofascial pain syndrome, sleep disturbances, cognitive dysfunction, impaired concentration, headaches, myoclonic twitches, and hypoglycemia.
    In most instances, this condition seems to be linked to events and/or periods, triggering circumstances in one’s life, that are especially traumatic or stressful. 
    Even when the targeting event is independent and fleeting, subsiding completely, the Fibromyalgia remains.

     Gulf War Syndrome, which gained its ominous notoriety following the Middle East conflict of the early 90’s, was perhaps our first inclination that Fibromyalgia may have an environmental link.  Soon after their tour of duty, a relatively large number of our military and support services personnel developed Chronic Fatigue, loss of muscle control, headaches, dizziness, loss of balance, memory problems, muscle and joint pain, indigestion, skin problems, shortness of breath, and even insulin resistance.  Brain cancer, Amyotrophic lateral Sclerosis (Lou Gehrig’s disease), and Fibromyalgia are recognized by the Defense and Veterans Affairs Departments as potentially connected to service in the Gulf War.
    Probable causes for these illnesses have been linked to exposure to depleted uranium munitions, side-effects from the early 90’s anthrax vaccine, and chemical weapons such as nerve and mustard gas.

    Popular treatments for fibromyalgia include hormones, analgesics, muscle relaxers, and antidepressants.

Hormones, like Cortisol (Hydrocortisone), are used to treat inflammation and to supplement natural Cortisol when its production is too low. It’s also used to treat Rheumatoid Arthritis, allergies, Multiple Sclerosis, and skin conditions.
    Hydrocortisone can cause difficulty sleeping, dizziness, lightheadedness, headache, increased appetite, increased sweating, indigestion, nervousness, rash, hives, itching, difficulty breathing, tightness in the chest, swelling of the mouth, face, lips, or tongue, black, tarry stools, changes in menstrual periods, chest pain, eye pain or increased pressure in the eye, fever, chills, or sore throat, joint or bone pain, mood or mental changes (depression), muscle pain or weakness, seizures, severe or persistent nausea or vomiting, stomach pain, bloating, swelling of the feet or legs, and unusual weight gain or loss.

     My doctors would periodically put me on extended doses of Prednisone.  To this day, I really am not sure why.  Yes, I know it’s an anti-inflammatory, but, like so many drugs used to treat chronic illness, there’s just so much collateral damage.
    The side effects of Prednisone are hives, difficulty breathing, swelling of the face, lips, tongue, or throat, vision problems, rapid weight gain, severe depression, unusual thoughts or behavior, seizures, bloody or tarry stools, coughing up blood, Pancreatitis, low potassium, dangerously high blood pressure, insomnia, acne, dry skin, thinning skin, bruising or discoloration, slow healing, increased sweating, headache, dizziness, spinning sensation, nausea, stomach pain, bloating, and changes in body fat. 
    I would gain considerable weight, particularly in my abdomen.  I got a lot of work done – it was like being on speed, but my heart would often feel like it was going to beat out of my chest and I became very irritable and short-tempered.  And, it tore my stomach up.

Analgesics, like Acetaminophen (Tylenol, Ultram), anti-inflammatories (aspirin), ibuprofen (Advil, Motrin) or naproxen sodium (Anaprox, Aleve), are all used to address the milder symptoms of Fibromyalgia. 
    I was on most of them with only very minor pain relief.  However, large doses of these over-the-counter drugs tore my stomach up, as well.  The next course of action would then be for physicians is to recommend over-the-counter or prescription stomach meds in an attempt to counteract the side effects of the first round rather than trying to find a less problematic anti-inflammatory pain reliever since, quite frankly, in the realm of conventional medicine, it doesn’t exist.

    Tylenol, as most everyone on the planet knows, is used to treat everything from minor aches and pains to fever.  It lowers a chemical in the brain that stimulates pain nerves and the heat-regulating center in the brain.
    Side effects can include rash hives, itching difficulty breathing, tightness in the chest, swelling of the mouth, face, lips, or tongue, dark urine or pale stools, unusual fatigue, and yellowing of the skin or eyes. 
    Most who only occasionally use this medicine will probably never experience the more serious adverse reactions.  But for those of us who suffer from chronic illness, we’re more likely to experience most if not all of them due to the ever increasing dosage required to alleviate the pain and discomfort. I was one of them.  I experienced the “Tylenol headache”, another name for the liver damage that comes with overdosing; not once but a number of times.  It was excruciating beyond words.

    Aspirin, an NSAID (nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drug), is a willow bark extract. It received its name back in 1899 from Bayer, who holds the registered trademark to this day.  Though its been given a rather benign status of late as a preventative for heart attacks, there are up to 500 deaths attributed to Aspirin every year.
    Side effects for Aspirin are heartburn, nausea, upset stomach, rash, hives, itching, difficulty breathing, tightness in the chest, swelling of the mouth, face, lips, or tongue, black or bloody stools, confusion, diarrhea, dizziness, drowsiness, hearing loss, ringing in the ears, severe or persistent stomach pain, unusual bruising, vomiting, and of course, death.

    Advil, also an NSAID, is yet another mystery to its creators and distributors (doctors, hospitals, drug merchants).  No one actually knows how it works.  What do you think would be the chances of you or I receiving a patent for a medical device, let alone getting it to production, if we didn’t know what made it tick? Kind of strips the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) of all credibility, doesn’t it?
    Possible side effects for Advil are constipation, diarrhea, dizziness, gas, headache, heartburn, nausea, stomach pain or upset, rash, hives, itching, trouble breathing, tightness the chest, swelling of the mouth, face, lips, or tongue, bloody or black, tarry stools, change in the amount of urine produced, chest pain, confusion, dark urine, depression, fainting, fast or irregular heartbeat, fever, chills, or persistent sore throat, mental or mood changes, numbness of an arm or leg, one-sided weakness, red, swollen, blistered, or peeling skin, ringing in the ears, seizures, severe headache or dizziness, severe or persistent stomach pain or nausea, severe vomiting, shortness of breath, stiff neck, sudden or unexplained weight gain, swelling of hands, legs, or feet, unusual bruising or bleeding, unusual joint or muscle pain, unusual tiredness or weakness, vision or speech changes, vomit that looks like coffee grounds, and yellowing of the skin or eyes.  Taking Ibuprofen increases your risk of heart attack and stroke.  It also increases the risk of fatal stomach ulcers and bleeding.  This is not a complete list.

    Aleve, is also an NSAID.  Another mystery drug, its function is largely a mystery to modern (?) science.  Amazing what we are forced to gamble just for relief of “minor aches and pains”.
    Side effects to Aleve are constipation, diarrhea dizziness, drowsiness, gas, headache, heartburn, nausea, stomach upset, stuffy nose, rash, hives itching, trouble breathing, tightness in the chest, swelling of the mouth, face, lips, or tongue, bloody or black, tarry stools, change in the amount of urine produced, chest pain, confusion, dark urine, depression, fainting, fast or irregular heartbeat, fever, chills, or persistent sore throat, mental or mood changes, numbness of an arm or leg, one-sided weakness, red, swollen, blistered, or peeling skin, ringing in the ears, seizures, severe headache or dizziness, severe or persistent stomach pain or nausea, severe vomiting, shortness of breath, sudden or unexplained weight gain, swelling of hands, legs, or feet, unusual bruising or bleeding, unusual joint or muscle pain, unusual tiredness or weakness, vision or speech changes, vomit that looks like coffee grounds, and yellowing of the skin or eyes.  Like Ibuprofen, Naproxen increases your risk of heart attack and stroke and your risk of fatal stomach ulcers and bleeding.  This is not a complete list.

Muscle relaxers, like Flexeril and Zanaflex are commonly used to ease the pain of Fibromyalgia.
    Curiously, physicians and scientists don’t know exactly how Flexeril works, either.   All they know for sure is that it relieves pain and muscle spasms.  Like so many drugs that are approved by the FDA, little details like “not knowing how it works”, are apparently not considered when tabulated with yet another profitable revenue stream.  Just who does the FDA work for, anyway? 
   
    Flexeril is what is called a tricyclic muscle relaxant.  It is marketed to reduce muscle spasms.
    Side effects of  Flexeril are constipation, diarrhea, dizziness, drowsiness, dry mouth, fatigue, nausea, nervousness, stomach pain or upset, rash, hives, itching, difficulty breathing, tightness in the chest, swelling of the mouth, face, lips, or tongue, chest pain, confusion, fainting, fast or irregular heartbeat, mental or mood changes, numbness of an arm or a leg, one-sided weakness, seizures, sudden severe stomach pain, severe dizziness or vomiting, speech or vision problems, trouble urinating, and yellowing of the skin or eyes.

    Zanaflex  is a skeletal muscle relaxant that is used to treat muscle spasms. 
    Side effects include constipation, dizziness, drowsiness, dry mouth, flushing, tiredness, weakness, rash, hives, itching, difficulty breathing, tightness in the chest, swelling of the mouth, face, lips, or tongue, change in emotions, mood, or behavior, hallucinations, increased muscle spasms, muscle weakness, slow heartbeat, trouble urinating or lack of bladder control, urinary tract infection, and yellowing of the skin eyes.

Antidepressants, like Amitriptyline, Sertraline (Zoloft), paroxetine (Paxil), and Fluoxetine (Prozac).  I ran the gamut on these guys. 

    Amitriptyline is a very old, well known, and popularly prescribed antidepressant.  It is thought to increase the activity of certain chemicals in the brain like Norepinephrine and Serotonin, but no one knows for certain (who’d have guessed). 
    It did little if anything for me. 
    Side effects of Amitriptyline are blurred vision, change in sexual desire or ability, constipation, diarrhea, dizziness, drowsiness, dry mouth, headache, loss of appetite, nausea, tiredness, trouble sleeping, weakness, rash, hives, itching, difficulty breathing, tightness in the chest, swelling of the mouth, face, lips, or tongue, chest pain, confusion, dark urine, delusions, difficulty speaking or swallowing, fainting, fast or irregular heartbeat, fever, chills, or sore throat, hallucinations, new or worsening agitation, anxiety, panic attacks, aggressiveness, impulsiveness, irritability, hostility, exaggerated feeling of well-being, restlessness, or inability to sit still; numbness or tingling in an arm or leg, one-sided weakness, seizures, severe or persistent dizziness or headache, severe or persistent trouble sleeping, slurred speech, suicidal thoughts or actions, tremor, trouble urinating, uncontrolled muscle movements, unusual bleeding or bruising, unusual or severe mental or mood changes, vision problems, and yellowing of the skin or eyes.

    Zoloft and Paxil caused sexual side-effects that I would really prefer to not go into.  Beyond that, they did little for me to curb the Fibromyalgia symptoms.

    Zoloft is used to treat depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD), and Social Anxiety Disorder, to name a few.
    Side effects can include anxiety, constipation, decreased sexual desire or ability, diarrhea, dizziness, drowsiness, dry mouth, increased sweating, loss of appetitive, nausea, nervousness, stomach upset, tiredness, trouble sleeping, vomiting, weight loss, rash, hives, itching, difficulty breathing, tightness in the chest, swelling of the mouth, face, lips, or tongue, bizarre behavior, black or bloody stools, chest pain, decreased bladder control, exaggerated reflexes, fast or irregular heartbeat, fever, hallucinations, loss of coordination, new or worsening agitation, panic attacks, aggressiveness, impulsiveness, irritability, hostility, exaggerated feeling of well-being, restlessness, or inability to sit still, persistent or severe ringing in the ears, persistent, painful erection, red swollen, blistered or peeling skin, seizures, severe or persistent anxiety, trouble sleeping, stomach pain, suicidal thoughts or attempts, tremor, unusual bruising or bleeding, unusual or severe mental or mood changes, vision changes, and worsening of depression.

    Paxil is also used for treating depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder( OCD), Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), and anxiety disorder and social anxiety disorder.
    Side effects of using Paxil include anxiety, blurred vision, constipation, decreased sexual desire or ability, diarrhea, dizziness, drowsiness, dry mouth, gas, increased sweating, increased urination, loss of appetite, nausea, nervousness, stomach upset, trouble concentrating, trouble sleeping, unusual skin sensations, weakness, yawning, rash, hives, itching, difficulty breathing, tightness in the chest, swelling of the mouth, face, lips, or tongue, bizarre behavior, black or bloody stools, chest pain, exaggerated reflexes, fast or irregular heartbeat, fever, chills, or sore throat, hallucinations, loss of coordination new or worsening agitation, panic attacks, aggressiveness, impulsiveness, irritability, hostility, exaggerated feeling of well-being, restlessness, or inability to sit still, persistent or severe ringing in the ears, persistent, painful erection, red, swollen, blistered, or peeling skin, seizures, severe or persistent anxiety or trouble sleeping, significant weight loss, stomach pain, suicidal thoughts or attempts, tremor, unusual bruising or bleeding, unusual or severe mental or mood changes, vision changes, and worsening of depression.

    Over 22.2 million prescriptions for Fluoxetine, the generic of Prozac, were filled in the United States in 2007.  It’s been approved by the FDA for treating major depression, obsessive compulsive disorder, bulimia nervosa, and panic disorder.
    Wow, Prozac.  That was what I took the longest.  It seemed to help, but it also took away something; my confidence, my sanity, maybe a piece of my soul.  I was still paying a price for taking Prozac long after I stopped taking it.  Read through the side-effects.  I can vouch for most of them.
    Side effects for Prozac include:  anxiety decreased sexual desire or ability, diarrhea, dizziness drowsiness, dry mouth, increased sweating, loss of appetite, nausea, nervousness, stomach upset, trouble sleeping, weakness, rash, hives, itching, difficulty breathing, tightness in the chest, swelling of the mouth, face lips, or tongue, bizarre behavior, black or bloody stools chest pain, confusion, exaggerated reflexes, excessive sweating fast or irregular heartbeat, fever, chills, or sore throat, hallucinations, increased urination, joint or wrist aches or pain, loss of coordination, new or worsening agitation, panic attacks, aggressiveness, impulsiveness, irritability, hostility, exaggerated feeling of well-being, restlessness, or inability to sit still, persistent or severe ringing in the ears, persistent, painful erection, red, swollen, blistered, or peeling skin, seizures, severe or persistent anxiety, trouble sleeping, significant weight  loss, stomach pain, suicidal thoughts or attempts, tremor, unusual bruising or bleeding, unusual hoarseness, unusual or severe mental or mood changes, unusual swelling, vision changes, and worsening of depression. 
    Of course, as it is with most of the over-the-counter and prescription meds listed here, if you’re on other prescription medications, drug interactions open up a whole new list of side effects.

     More recently, anti-seizure medications, like Neurontin and Lyrica have been used to treat the pain of Fibromyalgia.

    Neurontin was originally developed to treat epilepsy.  It’s widely used to treat neuropathic pain and frequent migraines. 
    Side-effects include dizziness, drowsiness, peripheral edema (swelling of extremities), mild-to-moderate mood swings, hostility, concentration problems, hyperactivity, and hepatotoxicity (chemically caused liver damage).   

    Lyrica, an anticonvulsant that is also used for neuropathic pain and seizures, has been popularly advertised to treat the pain of Fibromyalgia. 
    Side-effects include hallucinations, vivid dreams, weakness, fever, low blood pressure, dehydration, severe drowsiness, fluid retention in the legs, feet, arms, arms, or hands, dizziness, disease of the nerves, blurred vision, sensation of spinning or whirling, weight gain, infection, dry mouth, infrequent bowel movements, chronic pain, head pain, double vision, Pink Eye, middle ear infection, ringing in the ears, hemorrhage of blood under the skin, inflammation of lining of the stomach and intestines, hives, skin blisters, muscle spasms, difficulty with voluntary movement, water retention, puffy face, difficulty speaking, wheezing, trouble breathing, chest pain, difficulty with bladder control, numbness and tingling, low blood sugar, decreased blood platelets, confusion, suicidal thoughts, problems with eyesight, involuntary eye movement, sinus irritation, and congestion, Bronchitis, erectile dysfunction, twitching, fingernail and/or toenail disease, joint pain, backache, abnormal increase in muscle tone, muscle weakness, muscle pain, leg cramps, inability to concentrate, memory loss, stupor, fever, low energy, quivering, twitching, difficulty walking, increased hunger, nausea, gas, diarrhea, frequent urination, stomach cramps, abdominal swelling, nervousness, anxiousness, loss of reality or identity, and sexual problems.

The headaches

    Many weeks, I experienced two to three moderate to severe migraines a week.  Each migraine was like a mini seizure, with a little more of my short and long term memory disappearing with each episode.
    Pharmaceuticals did little to control the headaches.  Consequently, my migraine specialist regularly injected me with experimental medications, often with horrific results.      

    A migraine is a neurological syndrome that can exhibit altered bodily experiences, painful headaches, nausea, vomiting, heightened, often painful sensitivity to smells, bright lights and noise, sometimes preceded by an aura.
    For most all of us who suffer or have suffered from migraines, self-treatment begins with over-the-counter painkillers like Tylenol or Advil and nausea medicine like Tums, Gaviscon, and Maalox.
    We also quickly learned to avoid things that can trigger them, like certain foods, bright lights, loud noises, certain odors, physical and emotional stress, changes in sleep patterns, smoking or exposure to smoke (including but not reserved to cigarettes), skipping meals, and alcohol.  Other things specific to the individual can set off a migraine.  Often they occur seemingly without reason.  
    Unfortunately for me and so many like me, we’re forced to seek the help of physicians and specialists who immediately begin a procession of pharmaceuticals.

    Common prescriptions that are doled out for migraines are Triptans like Imitrex, or mix and match cocktails – Fioricet and Ergot Alkaloids like Cafergot.

    Imitrex works by narrowing the blood vessels in the brain.  When I was first diagnosed, it was only available in an injection.  Soon after, it was made available in a pill, though the injection had a much more immediate effect.
    Side effects include burning, dizziness, drowsiness, feeling of heaviness or pressure, muscle aches, numbness or tingling of the skin, sick feeling, tingling, tiredness, warm/hot sensation, rash, hives, itching, difficulty breathing, tightness in the chest, swelling of the mouth, face, lips, or tongue, bloody diarrhea, chest pain, confusion, fainting, fast or irregular heartbeat, fever, hallucinations, hearing problems, numbness or tingling of an arm or leg, one-sided weakness, pain, tightness, or pressure in the jaw, neck, or chest, seizures, severe headache, dizziness, vomiting, severe or prolonged flushing, severe stomach pain, shortness of breath, speech changes, very cold or blue fingers or toes, vision changes or loss of vision, and wheezing.

    Fioricet comes with or without codeine.  It’s a combination of Acetaminophen (for pain and fever), butalbital (a muscle relaxer), and caffeine (relaxes the contraction of blood vessels).  It’s used to treat tension headaches that are caused by muscle contractions.
    Side effects include fast, pounding, or uneven heartbeat, feeling light-headed or short of breath, nausea, stomach pain, low fever, loss of appetite, dark urine, clay-colored stools, jaundice, easy bruising or bleeding, unusual weakness, fever, chills, body aches, flu symptoms, drowsiness, dizziness, confusion or lightheadedness, dry mouth, loss of appetite, feeling anxious or jittery, drunk feeling, and headache.

    Cafergot is a combination of Caffeine and Ergotamine, both vascular constrictors.  It’s used to treat migraines by constricting blood vessels in the lining of the brain.
    Side effects to Cafergot are nausea, rash, hives itching, difficulty breathing, tightness in the chest, swelling of the mouth, face, lips, or tongue, blue color of the fingers or toes, chest pain or tightness, cold or pale fingers or toes, diarrhea, dizziness, hallucinations, headache, irregular heartbeat, leg cramps or weakness, mental or mood changes, muscle pain, numbness or tingling of the hands, feet, or skin, ringing in the ears, seizure, severe or persistent nausea or vomiting, shortness of breath, swelling, temporary fast or slow heartbeat, vomiting, and weak pulse. 
    My migraine specialist had me on something similar that he had concocted.  He called it Pink-Ergot/Caff/Butal/APAP.  Ergot for Ergotamine (like Cafergot), is derived from ergot fungus, the same stuff that’s used to make LSD.  Caff is for Caffeine (also like Cafergot).  Butal is for Butalbital, a barbiturate.  APAP is for Paracetamol or Acetaminophen, a widely used analgesic, (the same stuff as Tylenol or Ultram).
    It actually did help stem off a migraine if I caught it soon enough.  Of course, with it containing four harmful drugs, most that I have already addressed here, you may have already guessed that the side-effects were longer than your arm and leg combined.

    Methylphenidate is a drug that most might recall was given to children with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD).  It’s a stimulant that seems to have the reverse effect on someone who is legitimately hyperactive.  It was prescribed to me to counteract the one most prominent symptom of Fibromyalgia, “brain fog”. 
    Brain fog or fibrofog is a cognitive dysfunction which may be characterized by impaired concentration, problems with short and long-term memory, short-term memory consolidation, impaired speed of performance, inability to multi-task, cognitive overload, diminished attention span, anxiety, and depressive symptoms.
    Side effects of Methylphenidate are dizziness, drowsiness, headache, loss of appetite, nausea, nervousness, stomach pain, trouble sleeping, rash, hives, itching, difficulty breathing, tightness in the chest, swelling of the mouth, face, lips, or tongue, joint pain, purple or brownish red spots on the skin, behavior changes (aggression, hostility), blurred vision or other vision problems, chest pain, confusion, dark urine, fainting, fast or irregular heartbeat, fever, chills, or sore throat, hallucinations, agitation, anxiety, depression, irritability, persistent crying, unusual sadness, seizures, severe or persistent dizziness or headache, suicidal thoughts or attempts, uncontrolled speech or muscle movements, and yellowing of the eyes or skin.  

    My stomach was constantly upset; from the illness and the continually changing regiments of prescription drugs.  The pain, weakness, and confusion made it impossible for me to work.  I had to leave my certified welder and pipefitter position with Ameren, our local electric utility, my computer consulting business, and close our much needed food pantry.  Later, we lost our cars, our home, and eventually our marriage. 

    In 1997, I went on full disability.  It was also that year that I discovered information regarding cannabis and its treatment for Fibromyalgia. 
    What followed was anything short of miraculous.  After just a few weeks of dosing with cannabis, my short and long term memory began to return – a bonus I didn’t expect.  The pain from the Fibromyalgia lessened substantially.  After a few months, my migraines became largely non-existent.

    According to Wikipedia.org, Fibromyalgia patients frequently self -report using cannabis therapeutically to treat symptoms of the disorder.  Writing in the July 2006 issue of the journal Current Medical Research and Opinion, investigators at Germany’s University of Heidelberg evaluated the analgesic effects of oral THC (tetrahydrocannabinol) in nine patients with fibromyalgia over a 3-month period. Subjects in the trial were administered daily doses of 2.5 to 15 mg of THC, but received no other pain medication during the trial. Among those participants who completed the trial, all reported a significant reduction in daily recorded pain and electronically induced pain.  Previous clinical and preclinical trials have shown that both naturally occurring and endogenous cannabinoids hold analgesic qualities, particularly in the treatment of cancer pain and neuropathic pain, both of which are poorly treated by conventional opioids. As a result, some experts have suggested that cannabinoid agonists would be applicable for the treatment of chronic pain conditions unresponsive to opioid analgesics such as Fibromyalgia, and they propose that the disorder may be associated with an underlying clinical deficiency of the endocannabinoid system.

    I have now been a medical cannabis patient for over ten years.  My memory has continued to sharpen with the years.  The only difficulties that I have encountered with my health have occurred when my medicine was not available.  A few months ago, while rationing my meds, I had my first full blown seizure.
    As far as side effects from the use of Cannabis, I have noticed an occasional drop in cognitive function, (i.e. short-term memory loss and impaired concentration), but these are also symptoms of Fibromyalgia and also seem to coincide with stressful events and changes in barometric pressure (also characteristic of Fibromyalgia).
    Interestingly, despite the government’s classification as a “hallucinogen”, I have NEVER suffered hallucinations while using Cannabis.  You may have already noticed, many of the pharmaceuticals described here list hallucinations as a side effect.

My work 

Up until 2006, my involvement in the medical cannabis movement was limited to writing on the web and contacts with state Representatives and Senators.
In April of 2006 I left Charleston, South Carolina bound for San Francisco, California with a group called Journey for Justice 7.  I drove a support truck and was the on-road coordinator for the project, which featured three bicyclers.  The lead biker, Ken Locke, who founded Journey 7, is also a medical cannabis patient.
Our purpose was to educate people across the country about the benefits of cannabis for the treatment of the chronically ill.  That was also when I began collecting the testimonies of medical cannabis patients, their family members, and physicians on video.  I have continued to collect testimonies, making it the primary focus for my activism.

    The work I am doing has come to be called Cannabis Patient Network.  Up until the first of August, 2008, I was the only one working on this project.  During my most recent visit to North Carolina, I enlisted the assistance of videographer Ervin Dargan, my good friend and fellow activist.
Currently, we have over 70 videos of cannabis patients on our youtube channel, CannabisPatientNet, with another 7 or so still in edit.  We should well exceed 100 interviews by the first of the year. 
    I have interviewed patients with Multiple Sclerosis, Muscular Dystrophy, Fibromyalgia, Epilepsy, chronic pain, migraines, breast cancer, lung cancer, testicular cancer, Acoustic Neuroma,  skin cancer, brain aneurism,  stuttering, PTSD, Crohns, Lupus,  chronic depression and anxiety, other mental issues, Neuropathy of the feet, Neurological pain due to paralysis, and many more that I don’t venture to try to spell or pronounce.
    My goal is to have tens of thousands of Testimonies, from every District of every state in the Union.

    We provide science and medical research to back up the testimonies of the chronically ill of whom we interview.  In addition, we extensively research the illnesses and injuries, the pharmaceuticals that the patients have taken, their side effects, and results of their regular dosing with cannabis.

     I have the curious ability to gain the trust of otherwise reluctant chronically ill individuals.  Perhaps it is because I am also a patient and have regularly told my story publicly.  For whatever reason, this work has grown exponentially, building on the interviews that we have already done.  That gives us validity, creating confidence in prospective patients and their communities. 

    We’re constantly looking for more of the chronically ill who would be willing to sit for an interview.  I’m convinced that most people don’t realize the power they have in their personal testimony.

 “We have something that relieves suffering.”

 What works

    The vast majority of the chronically ill don’t know that cannabis is real medicine and that this God given plant could give them a better quality of life.  That’s where we, the cannabis patient, come in.  Its so simple that most activists can’t fathom it. 
    All we have to do is tell the truth.  Our own, personal story.  That’s all.  The world wants to hear it.  They know that the drug companies are killing us.  What they don’t know is that cannabis could very well save their lives, or at least, make them more tolerable. 

     The truth is in the telling.  We are real people.  We are a portion of the middleclass that affects 100% of America, because every family in America has at least one member who is chronically ill. 

     Join with me.  Lift up the hands that hang down. We’ll save lives and change law.

 Mark D. Pedersen
www.cannabispatient.net
cannabispatientnet@swbell.net

    Buddy is 86 years old.  He started in the tobacco business when he was 17.  He didn’t retire until he was 73. A buyer for Kent, Newport and Old Gold, the fast paced, highly competitive world of a tobacco broker was the driving force for most of his life.      

    Buddy outlived his wife by eighteen years.  Now it’s just him and his son Tom.  Tom is his father’s caregiver, now.  Tom is also chronically ill.

    Buddy has been suffering with Neuropathy of the feet for twenty years.  He said that it feels like nails piercing the bottom of his feet.   ” I jus’ never had anything in my life to hurt like this.”

Buddy believes Cannabis could Help Relieve his Chronic Pain.

     Neuropathy encompasses more than 100 diseases and conditions affecting the peripheral nerves-the motor, sensory and autonomic nerves that connect the spinal cord to muscles, skin and internal organs. It usually affects the hands and feet, causing weakness, numbness, tingling and pain.

    Buddy is a veteran.  He served four years during World War II.  He was told that it was probably the long walks packing heavy equipment that lead to his feet problems.

Two recent scientific studies (Headline from 2007) have confirmed what Buddy has found (that conventional narcotics don’t work for his condition) and what he has been told (that Cannabis is effective for Neuropathic foot pain). The following video from the 2004 Cannabis Therapeutics Conference, hosted by Patients Out of Time, features Dr. Donald Abrams, who conducted one of the studies in San Francisco, explaining the protocols for his government sanctioned research.AIDS, Pain & Cannabis, with Donald Abrams   

    Buddy also has Rheumatoid Arthritis.  He’s been ailing with it for 12 years.  
    Rheumatoid Arthritis is a chronic, systemic Autoimmune Disorder that causes the immune system to attack the joints, where it causes inflammation and destruction, and some organs, such as the lungs and skin.
    The stiffness in Buddy’s joints confines him to his easy chair and hopelessly shackle him to pharmaceuticals.  He had to elevate his legs to make it through our interview.

    Buddy has skin cancer across the top of his head and down his back.  Squamous Cell Carcinoma is one of several colored cancerous lesions visible on the surface of his bare scalp.
    Squamous Cell Carcinoma is the second most common cancer of the skin (after Basal Cell Carcinoma but more common than Melanoma). It usually occurs in areas exposed to the sun, and can generally be treated by excision only.”

    Buddy told me that most times, he’d rather be dead.  He quickly adds that he won’t kill himself, but, “…I’d rather be dead.”  The pain he deals with is that intense.
    Over a decade of chronic illness and inefficiently treating it with prescriptions drugs has lead him to this point.  There must be something else.  For Buddy, even the thought of dying is a welcomed relief when faced with the ever growing pain he is experiencing. 

    Buddy and his son Tom are avid readers.  That’s evident from the stacks of books that fill their home.  Decades of captivity to their illnesses has honed their ability to research.  It is that energy that they focused on finding relief from the pain and discomfort they both experience.   
    Though conventional medicine fell short of a solution, one 4,000 year old medicinal herb continually surfaced in their study.  Cannabis.  From what they read, studies had shown that it not only could relieve pain and was a natural anti-inflammatory, but could also be used to increase the effectiveness of conventional medicine so that they could minimize the damage to their livers and digestive systems.     

    Buddy and Tom don’t want to break the law.  They don’t want to live out the rest of their lives in excruciating misery, either.  Buddy says his state legislator won’t listen to him because he’s a Democrat. 
    It seems all too many of our elected officials are out of touch with the chronically ill.  They steer clear of the controversial issues like Cannabis, even when they know that millions of Americans could benefit from this holistic medicine. 
    What’s it going to take?  A hundred testimonies like this?  A thousand?  Just how many more chronically ill Americans must face the fear and indignity of prosecution, even as their very lives are in peril from disease or critical injury.

    To view more of our Medical Cannabis Testimonies, please visit www.youtube.com/cannabispatientnet/ .  We need your Testimony.  Please contact me today about scheduling your interview.  Help us change law through your personal story.

    Anne is a registered nurse.  For a time, nursing was her life.  Unfortunately, this profession that she loves so much has slipped beyond her reach.  In 2001, she became disabled. 

    Anne has a rare autoimmune disease, called Adult Onset Stills Disease.  She’s one of five people in the state of North Carolina with that diagnoses. 
    Still’s disease is a form of juvenile idiopathic arthritis, characterized by high spiking fevers and transient rashes.  It’s basically a very progressive form of Rheumatoid Arthritis.

Anne has a rare Autoimmune Disease

    She also has degenerative joint disease in both knees and both hips, all requiring immediate replacement.
    She’s been through two back surgeries and now has what’s considered a ?failed back?.  She has a herniated disc at L34, L45 is bulging, and L5S1 is bone on bone.

    Anne has Fibromyalgia.  Once referred to as arthritis of connective tissue, Fibromyalgia is classified by the presence of chronic widespread pain and tactile allodynia.

Anne has replaced her prescriptions with Cannabis

    Anne has Myofascial Pain Syndrome.  Myofascial Pain Syndrome (MPS) is a painful musculoskeletal condition, a common cause of musculoskeletal pain. MPS is characterized by the development of Myofascial trigger points (TrPs) that are locally tender when active, and refer pain through specific patterns to other areas of the body.

    Anne has Chronic Pain Syndrome.  Chronic pain is defined as pain that persists longer than the temporal course of natural healing, associated with a particular type of injury or disease process.

    She has been through chemotherapy to try to kill her extra white cells, to slow the illness? degenerative progression.  It made her terribly ill and caused her hair to fall out. 
    She was continuously in pain.  Her physician had her on a daily regiment of six class two narcotics, muscle relaxers, and sleeping pills.
    Nothing that the physicians and specialists tried stopped the pain and progression of her disease.  They told her that she would be in a wheelchair by the time she was 40.

    Now at 38, she doesn’t know what life holds for her.  All she can hope for is some measure of quality of life.  She really wants to go back to work.  That would give her fulfillment. 
    She’s up for a third spinal surgery at Duke University Hospital.  She’s had six major surgeries in the last eight years.  She’s praying that this time it’ll work; that it will help her start again.
 
    Though her church background forbade her from using cannabis for any reason, when she was thirty-three years old, she tried it for the very first time when she suddenly lost her physician and her scripts stopped.  In one fall swoop she was forced to come off OxyContin, Morphine Sulfate, Percocet, Dilantin, Valium, Flexural, Robaxin, and sleeping pills. all at one time. 
    Cannabis, though illegal, was the only medicine available.  Without it she doesn’t think she would have survived the ordeal.

    The first time that she dosed with cannabis, she felt that she was free again.  It helped her with depression and elevated her mood.  But most of all, it freed her from unmentionable pain. 
    Anne was physically devastated, as much from the pharmaceuticals as from her illnesses.   She believes Cannabis can free her from both.

    Modern science is confirming that Ann is correct when she says that Cannabis relieves many of her symptoms.  Doctors and researchers listen to Professor Raphael Mechoulam, who first isolated THC in Israel  in 1964, at a Clinical Conference on Cannabis Therapeutics, hosted by Patients Out of Time. In this video, Dr. Mechoulam explains the role of Cannabinoids and Cannabis as an anti-inflammatory agent – highly effective for the treatment of Rheumatoid Arthritis, as well as it’s neuroprotective properties. 

Cannabinoid System in Neuroprotection, Raphael Mechoulam,PhD                    

With her condition properly managed with Cannabis, Anne truly believes that she could go back to work. If only the medical community did not discriminate against her medicine through random drug testing.
   
    Now that she has found a holistic alternative to her harmful pharmaceuticals, she would like to have her healthcare supervised by one of her local pain management clinics, but all that she has applied to have refused to treat her because she uses cannabis. 

    She has done her research.  With all that she has been through with conventional medicine, she insisted on being thorough.  What she found was a wealth of medical evidence, all affirming that cannabis was the safest and most affective medicine available to treat her illnesses.

    All she wants is some measure of quality to her life; to safely, legally, and sufficiently treat her illnesses.  For her, Cannabis is what she needs.

    View all our Patient Testimonies at www.youtube.com/cannabispatientnet. Patients and prospective patients, we need your help.  Please consider giving us your video testimony.  Together, we are strong, together we will abolish prohibition, once and for all.

    My first interview with Joe took place in April of 2006 at Ken Locke’s home in the Appalachians, just prior to the start of Journey for Justice 7.

 

Joe uses cannabis to treat his MS

 

    Joe suffers from a type of Multiple Sclerosis.  At the time of our first recording, he still did not have a firm diagnoses.   He suffers from muscle spasms, general weakness, loss of muscle control and balance – all of which make it virtually impossible to walk.  Joe has a power wheelchair.

 

    Joe finds that cannabis is the only medicine that adequately treats his symptoms without the debilitating side affects of prescription drugs.  It relaxes his limbs and back far more adequately than pharmaceuticals.  Also, cannabis allows him to avoid anti-depressants for treating his anxiety. 
    Unfortunately, the high cost of black market cannabis often forces him to choose between food and relief from his symptoms.

 

Joe’s only relief is from Cannabis

 

    Cannabis continues to be his oasis from pain and atrophy — when he can get it, of course.  And that is increasingly becoming more difficult.  The only outlet for Joe’s medicine is the street.  His age and medical condition make this a difficult prospect since cannabis is illegal in North Carolina.  Joe can only expect an occasional taste of the freedom and relief it can provide.  For now, he must suffer silently knowing his government favors the fat pocket books of big business lobbyists to the wellbeing of the chronically ill. 

 

    To view all our Medical Cannabis Testimonies, please visit www.youtube.com/cannabispatientnet.

    David, a long-time resident of St. Louis, displays all the carefree hippy attributes of his youth. But David isn’t well. He hasn’t been well for a very long time. He suffers from chronic depression. He also suffers from the residual affects of Hepatitis C.
    Depression runs in his family. His father committed suicide in 2000.  David has times when he cannot leave his home. It’s during those times that he finds cannabis to be quite affective in treating his anxiety. With it, he is able to face the world.

David suffers from depression and anxiety.

     David has strived to improve himself, returning to college and receiving a BA in Psychology. Unfortunately, a cannabis bust brought his education to a halt. Finding himself without the only thing that freed him from his home-bound incarceration, he was forced to slip back into the shackles of mental illness and pharmaceutical stupor. So, for the last five years, David’s life has been on hold. That’s how long he has been on probation. The penalty for being caught in the possession of the only medicine that affectively treats his illness is to be denied that very medicine for five very crucial years of his life. It’s not enough that he suffers alone with a debilitating illness, but further, he must suffer knowing that it is Missouri law and nothing else that forbids him from having a life; that denies him the very rites our founding fathers pledged their sacred honor to instill. The words “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness” are only words to the forgotten America which is the chronically ill.

Rod’s house burned down in January 2007.

Rod suffers from Epilepsy

While his house was still burning, the fire department there in St. Charles, Missouri chose to break down the door into his grow room, even though that part of his house wasn’t involved in the fire. They also chose to pry open the locked drawers of a steel desk looking for cash rather than fight the fire that was consuming the rest of his house. Rod’s lacerations and burns had to wait while he was handcuffed in the street in front of his neighbors and children and hauled off to jail, while his home still burned.
Though Rod used cannabis from his personal garden for his personal use to treat his Epilepsy, he was charged with manufacture, distribution, and other felonies just like a street drug dealer. To add insult to injury, the St. Charles Fire Department distributed a video of their heroic efforts, rummaging through Rod’s home looking for cash and contraband, among other fire departments around St. Louis and St. Charles County.

His pharmaceutical use is reduced to a third with Cannabis

To view all our Medical Cannabis Testimonies, please visit my youtube channel CannabisPatientNet, and to view our legislative reform, go to http://www.markpedersen.com and http://www.gstlnorml.org

     This video was originally taken at the 2007 Missouri State Norml Conference in Columbia, Missouri. Mr. McVay was one of the speakers.
    There were 300 views on the original youtube video at the time of the update. Better quality equipment and improvements in my feable skill level have allowed for a far better quality audio and video presentation.

Doug McVay is a cancer survivor.

 

    Doug, an activist of “Drug War Facts” fame, is a cancer survivor. He praises Cannabis for improving his chances for recovery by replacing opiates for pain and easing the affects of chemotherapy.

Cannabis maintained his weight during chemo

 
    To view all of our Medical Cannabis Patient   Testimonies, please visit my youtube channel www.youtube.com/CannabisPatientNet , and to view our legislative reform, go to www.markpedersen.com  and www.gstlnorml.org.